He told me I was beautiful, and that I made him smile, and I wanted him.
He told me I was christmas on a snowy, peaceful day, and I loved him.
He told me I was perfect in every way, and I believed him.
He told me I deserved better than he was, and I ignored him.
He showed me the world, both tangible and not, and I adored him.
He worote me songs, and played them for me on the roof of his car under moonless starry nights, and I worshipped him.
He whispered secrets and murmered poems into my ear, and I wanted him even more.
He told me we would run away together, forget the worries of youth and circumstance, to build a world of passion in a nameless place unknown, and I followed him.
Away from security, away from love, away from all I had ever known, I followed him.
He told me he would take care of me, and I naively listened.
He left me alone, far from home, and I began to see how much I despised him.
I never saw his face again.
And now, oh how I hate him.

I write best when I am depressed. I often wonder if depression is a pre-requisite for good writing.

1. Be healthy/healthful
2. Be a good friend
3. Keep secrets
4. Keep in touch with people I love and who love me
5. Make a quilt
6. Nepal
7. Buy a home in North Dakota
8. Get a Master’s degree
9. Learn a foreign language
10. Kilimanjaro
11. Never be ashamed of who I am
12. Be a person to be proud of
13. Always keep improving
14. Read every day
15. Be informed
16. Knit a sweater
17. Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
18. Volunteer for a charity
19. Learn to cook
20. Learn about art
21. Get my gun permit
22. Grand Canyon
23. Spend more time with my family
24. Remember birthdays!!!!
25. Appreciate money but don't worship it
26. Learn how to use a computer
27. Visit the New York Public Library
28. Maine
29. Learn to write
30. Walk=exercise but also see the world firsthand
31. Learn about other cultures
32. Be a good listener
33. Take time for friends
34. Kayak
35. Drink water
36. Learn about wine
37. Be a role model
38. Build a gingerbread house
39. Ride a camel
40. Swim w/ dolphins
41. Visit all 7 Continents
42. Swim in all 4 oceans
43. Learn sign language
44. Take a bartender’s class
45. Go on a mission’s trip
46. Pet a zebra
47. Visit all 50 states
48. Write a book
49. Be on TV
50. Hang glide
51. Build a sand castle in the desert
52. Meet the President
53. Stand on a volcano
54. See the 7 Wonders of the World
55. Grand Canyon
56. Learn how to surf
57. Ride a horse
58. Live in a different country for at least a year
59. Go on a cruise
60. Hold a monkey
61. Pet a cactus
62. Swim/float in the Dead Sea
63. Disney World
64. Be kissed in the rain
65. Be kissed under the mistletoe
66. Build an igloo
67. Watch the ball drop in Times Square on New Years Eve
68. Ice skate in Rockefeller Center
69. Read the Bible in a year
70. Run for President (of anything)
71. Sit on my hair
72. Build a tree house
73. See a live Yankee’s game
74. Serve food in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving Day
75. Go to DC for the Cherry Blossom Festival
76. See fireworks on the Mall in DC on the 4th of July
77. Howes Caverns
78. Secret Caverns
79. Vienna boat ride
80. Learn how to sew
81. Learn to tango/salsa/ballroom dance
82. Win a contest
83. Be in two places at once (College Corner Ohio?)
84. Ride in a hot air balloon
85. Go to country fest
86. Ride a (mechanical) bull
87. Paris
88. Bahamas
89. Attend the Olympics
90. See the ballet
91. Broadway
92. Sky Dive
93. Get my piloting license
94. Run a 7 minute mile
95. Run a marathon
96. Be in a movie
97. Have $10,000 in my savings account
98. Graduate Magna Cum Laude
99. Fly first class
100. Opera
101. Quincy Market
102. Boston Aquarium
103. Ground Zero
104. Library of Congress
105. Manhattan
106. Habitat for Humanity
107. White water rafting

She walks through life with one eye looking at the sky
And the other staring down a wishing well
One to take away the pain
And one to resurrect the hope
That life isn't something passing her by
A fairytale her father read to her
While she lay tucked beneath princess sheets
And a naive, nurtured security
People laugh and children grow
But she sees shallow misconceptions in hollow eyes
She painstakingly builds her walls one brick at a time
She doesn't want to be like them
Yet she cries herself to sleep because she is so different
She steals away in midnight's darkness
To carve out graves where she can hide
The shadows are the only friends she has left
Hiding from the world what they can never know
That she loves too much to let anyone close enough to break her heart
So her walls of rock and brick and steel
Protect her from all she fears and all she hides from
But she doesn't know
That her walls don't encircle her
They only build higher and higher
In places which she can only see
And behind her back, closer and closer, her fears are creeping
Icy fingers reaching for strong shoulders
Supporting the weight of her reality and her imaginary world
A foundation cracking and falling apart
But all she sees
Are hollow eyes, handmade walls, and imperfections
And a hope that is slipping... away

It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR)interview between a female broadcasterand US Marine Corps General Reinwaldwho was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troopvisiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teachthese young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD:We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerousactivity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle disciplinebefore they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD:Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?


The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Stronger

Every bad word spoken to me or about me has made me stronger.
Every dirty look sent in my direction has made me stronger.
Every mean and snotty comment disguised as a joke or a compliment has made me stronger. Every fake friend and every failed relationship has made me stronger.
Every mishap, disappointment, and accident that I have encountered (and endured) has made me stronger.
Say what you will, do what you wish.
I will not let you affect me.
Because I am strong.
And you will make me stronger.

She smiles, but no one can see her.
She cries, but no one can hear her.
She breathes, but no one can feel her.
If she was gone, would anyone miss her?